It hit me today that I’m not working class anymore. Sure, I used to work retail, and then I moved furniture in the hot sun for years on end, and then I served hot dogs to drunk college kids for more years still. However, now my job is editing books for a living. I don’t have a boss, and I read Microsoft Word files all day. Sometimes I’m looking for typos, sometimes (hopefully) I’m looking at bigger developmental issues with the text, which is what I prefer.
But that’s not working class. That’s petty-bourgeoise. What does that mean for how I interface with the world?
My mental state is definitely different. I’m not sure, to be honest, if it’s 100% better, although I do know that not worrying so much about money is without a doubt better. My mind is more free to roam around and think about things…but the issue becomes “just how important are those things that you’re thinking about?”
Because your priorities begin to skew when your needs change. I remember when I lived in a little one-bedroom apartment by myself. I had a bed and a computer. It was real guy shit. I would spend my nights at the bar drinking myself stupid, hanging out with my friends. Then I’d wake up hungover as shit, drive to work, and sweat out all the booze on the delivery truck all day. Then I’d do it all over again.
It just led to different priorities. Different thoughts. I was also younger then, though I’m not going to do that thing where I pretend I’m not young now. I’m 34. That’s not young, but it’s not old either. Time passes. It’s a thing.
Anyhow, I guess that was just a revelation to me. Overall, I’m grateful for where I am in life right now. Everything is a process. I’m really into vibes now.
Broken River Blog 