New Mortal Kombat (Teaser) 04/21/21

I put together the show notes for the latest episode of No Country with Gus in one arm. I’d never done that process one-handed before, but it worked out okay.

He has been mostly quiet throughout his first day of life. He likes warmth and white noise. I have changed many diapers and swaddled many receiving blankets. The learning curve is not very steep.

I thought it would be fun to put on the first scene of the new Mortal Kombat movie, which you can (and should) watch here:

That is one of the worst pieces of shit that I’ve ever seen, and because of that I really, really need to see the whole movie. Everything about this is wrong: the setting feels plastic even though they’re in nature. The non-sequiturs fly to the point of being hilarious. At one point, Scorpion says to his wife something like “You are very important to me.” But the most hilarious bit (unintentional? who cares?) is when Sub-Zero gives his villain speech to Scorpion in Chinese. Scorpion, who is Japanese, basically says “Even though I didn’t understand a word of that, it’s time to get down to business.” I howled!

The acting is of course horrible, but what I really loved was the dramatic music. It simply doesn’t match up to anything happening on the screen. There are menacing brahhhhms that are attached to lifeless shots of completely unthreatening villains.

The fight scenes, on the other hand, look completely awesome. Scorpion uses a sharp trowel hooked up to a rope to dispatch his enemies. The whole time I was watching the fights and the gore, I was like “yes, yes, and yes. These are the correct decisions.”

In fact, any time the violence is on screen, the whole movie comes along. Which mimics the games: the cutscenes are always terrible. The games are about the fighting. So goes the movie.

Anyhow, I will definitely be watching this one, and will have a full report soon.

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